We Are Conservatives

We are conservatives and we value goodness, truth, and beauty. That is, we like St. John Paul II, Thomas Aquinas, and Ivanka Trump. We also like beer, but I don’t want to detract from the solemnity of this moment.

We are conservatives and we do not believe in the natural goodness of human beings—perhaps because we know that we are imperfect, perhaps because we have looked evil in the face more than once, and perhaps because we knew that, one day, Pedro Sánchez would be president of the Socialist International.

We are conservatives and we believe that the government is often the problem, not the solution.

We are conservatives and we believe that any climate solution that ruins family economies is immoral and should be opposed. Most of us think that climate change is a ploy by the Left to impose a totalitarian system, and that human activity is, to sum up, irrelevant to the temperature—especially if only the West acts, while the truly polluting countries take advantage of our green epiphany.

We are conservatives and we respect our ancestors, we are proud of the successes and mistakes of our history, and we embrace the Constitution because we know that it guarantees the rule of law so that we may live in peace and freedom.

We are conservatives and we do not idolise what some call ‘progress.’ We like prosperity better.

We are conservatives and we like freedom, individual property, and life. We like life so much that we defend it from its beginning to its end, and we oppose outright the murder of babies and the elderly, as well as the disgusting industry that makes money from their blood.

We are the conservatives and the word ‘taxation’ gives us hives.

We are conservatives and we care about language. We abhor the attacks that the Left promotes against our languages, whether in the form of unhinged pronouns, or in the form of euphemisms to mould minds through language.

We are the conservatives and our mission is to preserve tradition and cultural baggage. We reject any attempt by the Left to cancel works, books, films, or historical figures. We will raise every statue they tear down. We will reprint every book they burn.

We are the conservatives and our girls are prettier. Just look at the young people who show up at right-wing rallies.

We are conservatives and we think that communism is a crime and that socialism is theft.

We are conservatives and we believe in national sovereignty and international cooperation. We oppose globalism that seeks to leave local decisions in foreign hands—especially if those hands are those of George Soros and Bill Gates, who have hooks rather than hands.

We are the conservatives and we do not sit down and negotiate with terrorists.

We are the conservatives and, by and large, we believe in the transcendence of human life, we believe that there is something beyond it, and we believe that God cares about the destinies of our nation.

We are the conservatives and we can discuss among ourselves without purging each other like the communists do. We can discuss everything in freedom, because we are looking for the best political solution, even though we know that the best political solution does not exist.

We are the conservatives and we are so ‘crazy’ that we believe that the human species is divided only into two sexes: male and female.

We are the conservatives and we are in a great moment. We have the best solutions for the worst problems. And, as the rock star Javier Milei says, we are better.