All across the globe, from Tokyo to Turin, an increasing number of young men are walling themselves off from society. In Japan, the issue of social withdrawal among young men is so severe that the Japanese have coined a term for it: hikikomori (hiki, “to withdraw,” and komori, “to remain inside”). This sociocultural phenomenon involves a complete rejection of the social contract, and a refusal to engage with other members of society. At least 1.5 million Japanese people, many of whom are young men in their 20’s and 30’s, have completely withdrawn from society. They don’t date, and they don’t work. They don’t do anything that requires them leaving their homes. In Japan’s neighbor, South Korea, some 350,000 people between the ages of 19 and 39 are “reclusive” or “lonely,” according to a Ministry of Gender Equality and Family (MOGEF) report. Again, many of these reclusive individuals are young men. They tend to live in small spaces, be disconnected from the outside world for extended periods of time, and display “noticeable difficulty in living a normal life.” Forty percent of the affected begin their isolation in their adolescent years. Numerous factors have contributed to the phenomenon, including financial difficulties, increased social media use, and battles with mental illness.
Of course, one needn’t live in East Asia to see the hikikomori phenomenon playing out.
Italy, a country known for a culture that prizes deep social bonds, is also in the midst of a companionship recession. As Dr. Matthew Zanon and his colleagues at Sakido, an organization dedicated to reintegrating reclusive individuals back into society, have noted, an increasing number of young Italians—again, mostly young males—have more or less given up on social interaction. Dr. Zanon, a clinical psychologist by training, refers to the phenomenon as a “social retreat.”
Some 5,000 miles away, in America, young men are also retreating en masse. Many of these young males are hurting—financially, spiritually, and psychologically. As I have discussed before, American males are far more likely to commit suicide than American females. Rather staggeringly, 60 percent of American men in their 20’s are single, and only 50 percent of all single men are seeking a romantic relationship. This is not normal, and it’s certainly not healthy. To compound matters, as the political economist Nicolas Eberstadt recently warned, 7 million prime working-age men (those between the ages of 25 and 54) in the U.S. are jobless and have absolutely no intention of finding a job. What do these men do with all of their free time? According to Dr. Eberstadt, they spend an average of 2,000 hours per year glued to screens. To put that number in perspective, the average American employee spends about the same amount of time working. To compound matters, 50 percent of the 7 million consume copious amounts of prescription drugs and/or marijuana. Two-thirds of the 7 million live in a household that receives at least one disability payment every month.
This is a crisis of epic proportions, one that must be viewed from a broader perspective. An increasing number of Americans have absolutely no friends; in the 90s, millions of Americans had at least 10 friends. Again, the zero friends problem affects men more than women, as males tend to have more friends early in life and lose them as they get older.
In the UK, suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45. Today, rather alarmingly, young men in the UK are considerably more likely to be lonely than older individuals. The reason why? ‘Superficial’ friendships. In other words, an increasing number of young men have traded in actual, physical friendships for artificial interactions online. Isolated and starved of human interaction, these young men are living lives of abject misery. Isolating oneself from broader society is, in many ways, an early death sentence. As the psychologist Elizabeth Gilbert recently wrote, those without close friends die younger. Dr. Gilbert referenced a meta-analysis that shows how feelings of social isolation and loneliness have the same effects on the body as both obesity and smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Social isolation destroys the brain and the body. This makes complete sense. Anyone familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a groundbreaking theory developed 80 years ago, knows that the need for love and belonging comes before esteem and self-actualization. Without family and friends, a life of genuine contentment is impossible.
The academic Nader Elhefnawy, a man who has discussed the phenomenon of social isolation in great detail, believes that, going forward, an increasing number of young men around the world will wall themselves off from society. “It seems to me there are many factors at work here,” said the Miami Dade College-based professor. “But,” he stressed, “economics is bound up with most of them—people having less of the margin of economic security that enables them to have relationships, families, etc. (e.g. being able to afford housing), without which isolation is more common.” In those circumstances, he added, those “working harder for less” are “not finding it worth the effort.” “In the absence of things getting better—or for that matter, a politics which gives people the hope of better,” said Dr. Elhefnawy, “individuals can do little but deal with their problems individually, with some opting for withdrawal, and this including the extreme form of this that is becoming hikikomori.”
All of this leaves us asking one question: What, if anything, can be done to help these desperate souls?
In the aforementioned South Korea, the government is paying young recluses 650,000 Korean won (roughly $500) to re-enter society. The idea of throwing money at a problem, particularly a problem of this magnitude, might strike some readers as odd, even reckless. Others, however, may offer some pushback, and say, at least the Korean government is doing something to address the crisis. In this case, something is certainly better than nothing. A more practical approach to addressing the problem comes from the abovementioned psychologist Dr. Zanon, who, along with his colleagues, runs various social programs in northern Italy. In addition to offering online services, Dr. Zanon and his team provide listening desks and training workshops for those who find themselves suffering in silence. To date, the organization has helped dozens of young men (and women) to re-enter society. Forget paying people monthly sums of money; Dr. Zanon’s approach is the only way to address the rise of the hikikomori.
