Keir Starmer’s latest attempt to scratch the surface of Britain’s social malaise has seen him ban long blades. The prime minister took to social media to announce that it was “confirmed,”
Ninja swords will be banned by this summer. When we promise action we take it.
“But will you deport the ninjas?” asked British presenter Nick Dixon, along with thousands of others calling on the government to do something about illegal migration instead.
But will you deport the ninjas?
— Nick Dixon (@nickdixoncomic) March 27, 2025
Starmer was even mocked in the European Parliament by Charlie Weimers of the Sweden Democrats, who yesterday celebrated a new national law that should result in the removal of almost 5,000 rejected asylum applicants. Weimers jibed that “banning ninja swords but allowing the ‘ninjas’ to stay in the country, like the Left in Britain, does not make everyday life safer for ordinary people.”
If we are to restore safety to our streets, mass deportations are needed.
Om vi ska återställa säkerheten på våra gator behövs massutvisningar. Att, som vänstern i Storbritannien, förbjuda ninjasvärd men låta 'ninjorna' stanna i landet gör inte vardagen säkrare för vanligt folk. pic.twitter.com/IJBo6OYLmk
— Charlie Weimers MEP(@weimers) April 2, 2025
In America, too, the ban has been dismissed—by Jeff Blehar in National Review—as doing nothing except applying “a symbolic bandage on a far deeper generational psychological wound.”
Even Senator Ted Cruz had a pop—albeit less seriously—saying that “when ninjas are invading your nation, you know that open borders have gone too far.”
The ban on the swords will come into place on August 1st. Home Office officials also announced last week that current ninja sword owners will be paid the face value of their blades if they hand them over to the police during the month of July. After that, people found in possession of a ninja sword will face six months in prison.
